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  • Writer's pictureAlyona (Aly) Cerfontyne

What do Sex Therapists do?

Sex therapists, your trusted guides in the realm of sexual health and intimacy, are here to help you navigate complex issues around sexuality. Whether you're grappling with performance anxiety, questioning your sexual orientation or gender identity, or facing challenges with sexual dysfunctions such as erectile dysfunction or low sexual desire, a sex therapist is your ally.

Professional sex therapists, armed with extensive training in human sexuality, work with you to explore your desires and concerns. They provide a safe space for discussion, using positive and inclusive language to validate your experiences and make you feel seen and heard. Their expertise ranges from managing sexual dysfunctions to addressing various libido levels, empowering you with knowledge and tools to improve your sexual well-being.

Helping with Variations in Sexual Functioning

For instance, sex therapists can assist men struggling with erectile dysfunction, offering solutions ranging from psychological tools to discussing various suitable devices, like vacuum pumps. For women dealing with painful intercourse or vaginismus, they provide specific techniques and suggestions on how to manage the pain and overcome psychological barriers.

Helping with Mixed Desire Levels

When it comes to libido levels, sex therapists offer strategies to harmonize differing sexual desires between partners, reignite passion for those with decreased sexual desire, and manage intense sexual desires in a healthy manner.

Regaining Healthy Sex Life Post-Baby

The transition to parenthood can bring about significant changes in a couple’s sex life, with research indicating that many women experience lower levels of sexual pleasure and emotional satisfaction more than 18 months postpartum. In fact, childbirth has been found to significantly alter the pattern of sexual intercourse, with a decrease in coital frequency reported in 77% of women.

Moreover, a study showed a considerable elevation in the loss of interest in sexual activity at six months postpartum (46.3%), which remained significantly so at 12 months postpartum (3). It's common for new mothers to experience fatigue, pain, vaginal dryness and decreased libido, especially in the initial four to six months after childbirth.

These changes are influenced by a variety of factors, including extreme tiredness, lifestyle changes, and the emotional connection to the baby. The journey through these changes can be complex and varied, underlining the importance of open communication, understanding, and patience between partners during this transformative period.

But What don't Sex Therapists do?

First and foremost, a sex therapist does not engage in any sexual activity with their clients. Their role is strictly professional, adhering to ethical guidelines set by their professional organizations. They provide counselling guidance, not hands-on sexual services.

Secondly, they won't push you to reveal anything you're uncomfortable with. Their aim is to create an open dialogue about sexuality, but always at a pace that suits you. They respect your boundaries and understand that every individual's journey to sexual wellness is unique.

Furthermore, they don't make assumptions or judgments about your sexual preferences or behaviours. The beauty of sex therapy lies in its inclusivity. Whether you're exploring your sexual orientation, questioning your gender identity, or experiencing a variation in sexual functioning, a sex therapist is there to support you, not to judge or change you.

Remember, a sex therapist is like a compassionate guide on your journey to understanding and enjoying your sexuality. They might not have all the answers immediately, but they're committed to working with you to find them.


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